Anger Management

Whether it’s by talking or writing about your past traumatic experiences, you will benefit. Dr. James Pennebaker, in his excellent book entitled, Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions cites research that shows how writing about painful traumatic experiences reduces physical illness and in some cases helps individuals control their anger. He tells of one study where a group of individuals were laid off from their jobs with no notice after over 20 years of loyal service. In his research study, those who wrote in detail about what happened to them were less angry afterwards, and were much more likely to get jobs than those who did not write about their experience.

The idea here is that writing about their experience made these men less angry, and therefore better applicants for new positions. Whatever is going on in your life (and a lot of folks are out of work right now), write about your anger, frustration and the experiences that lead to those feelings. It will help. It won’t solve all of your problems, but it will help.

You either work on your past or it works on you.

Okay, here’s the deal. You and I and everybody else got hurt, one way or the other. Maybe you know how you were hurt, and maybe you don’t. But it’s part of being human. Because you were hurt, you became afraid and wanted to protect yourself–that’s where anger comes in. Anger is a protective emotion. So all those memories of getting hurt (by abuse, neglect, abandonment or favoritism), are in your past! Yep, the causes and cure for your anger issues are in your own memories, which live in your past. And when you take responsibility for healing your own anger by working with your memories, you gain tremendous freedom, strength and self-knowledge.

Good question! You can try to put your past behind you, but the only place it will go is to the back of your mind. Then it will run the show at times, from the background (your subconscious mind), and trigger your anger, over and over. You just can’t get rid of your past–and you wouldn’t want to, because it is your life experience!.

So! Why not turn that dirt into gold? That’s right–by working with your memories, you will get smarter and stronger, and overcome the issues that have caused your anger.

Did you know that simply writing about your emotional experiences is very good for your health? And, it can give you insight into your situation and help you to make better decisions in the future. We really want to hear your stories, and here is a page you can go to right now to submit any story at all. Or, this page is specifically for teen anger stories. Here is one of my favorites entitled, “Twelve Years Old And Hostile” submitted by Kimberlee from Lawrence, Kansas:

Join Kimberlee in sharing your story about teen anger or any other topic of interest related to anger and grief.

Being a mother of two young boys can cause you to think that you no doubt need a lesson in anger management. I suppose have children of any age can also induce that feeling. I have a short fuse to begin with, add in screaming, yelling, and just plain racket and you get a really messy situation.

I have never endangered my kid’s welfare nor have I seriously tried to hurt them. I can remember one day I thought it would be nice to decorate pumpkins with the kids and their cousins. So here I am with two two-year olds, and two five-year olds. We cut out things to glue on the pumpkins and then tried to glue them to the pumpkins. All the while they were running and throwing the pumpkins. I tried really hard to keep my calm and remember that I asked for this.

At the time all I wanted to do was rant and rave and yell at them. I wanted to tell them to go sit in the corner like a bunch of statues. Then I calmed myself and tried reminding myself that they are only children and that is what they do for fun. I have always said that some things are better remembered than experienced. I look back and think it was a good thing.

This is a story submitted to www.AngerManagementResource.com by Suzie from Woodville, TX. Please feel free to submit your own story about anger mangement, road rage, grief and loss, adolescent anger, or forgiveness.

When I was eleven my father died. I remember sitting on the living room couch in my grandpa’s lap with my little brother John sitting next to me. My other brother, Matt, was in my mom’s lap in the rocking chair in the adjacent corner of the room. John was eight, and Matt was five.

My grandma perched on the coffee table, her hands squeezed into fists in her lap. Her eyes were swollen. I noticed then that Pa-Pa was holding onto me so tight and that mom was hanging on to Matt for dear life, too. I wondered what this meeting was called for. I was scared. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen. Then she said it.

Our daddy had died. He died in an accident is all she said. No details. No answers to why or how. The only words floating around in that room were, “We’re so sorry, so sorry.” I was mad. I was confused. Matt didn’t really comprehend anything. John looked at me for guidance from his older sister. I had none to give. I was struck down from my cloud of innocent childhood, plummeting to the earth to land face first in a pile of disappointment. Life was going to be hard from now on. And that is the source of all of my anger, frustration, disillusionment and self loathing. I blamed myself for not being a better daughter.

That “accident” was a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

This is a story submitted to www.AngerManagementResource.com by April from Lilburn, GA. Please feel free to submit your own story about anger mangement, road rage, grief and loss, adolescent anger, or forgiveness.